Is it not so?

There is a term which I have come across quite often of late: self defence mechanism. It’s very interesting. And I believe its one of the least talked about issues by an individual. Obviously so! Otherwise everyone would come to know of the whys and hows of that person!!! What I found intriguing was not that it is not discussed even with ones we are close to, but that when does this mechanism start operating. When I thought about it and reflected back upon the people I have known or come across, I realized that it works the strongest with the people whom we are we are very close to. This is not an unfair generalization. We all know about our respective self defence mechanisms. The whole idea of such a thing existing is to avoid being hurt and avoid hurting others. For an average, fundamentally good human being, that’s natural. We do not want to be hurt by those whom we feel close to. It’s painful. It would be the end of the world, a breach of trust and blah blah!!! Now comes the interesting part: more than being hurt, we do not want to hurt others. As people, we have supreme confidence in ourselves that we can hurt others. But how many of us accept the same? And more so even to ourselves?

I mean, imagine one fine day telling your best friend that you know his strengths and weaknesses and then doing exactly what will destroy him. OK!!! This is an extreme kind of an example. But the point is that we do not do these things intentionally. But they happen. And for no rhyme or reason. And what do we do about it? What can we do about it? Obviously nothing!! Or is it so? If we really end up hurting someone (here I am obviously talking about the emotional hurt), can it really not be repaired? The only reason we feel that it is not possible is either because we won't talk or the other person wont talk. It’s strange that we all talk to our friends/closed ones when they are hurt by others. But it gets difficult when we are the ones who hurt them. The possibility of us keeping quite happening then seems too realistic because we know we also know that for us, it is very difficult to say sorry. But does it not give us an internal strength to know that we have learned to say “I am sorry” when we are wrong? And again when we genuinely mean it when we say “It’s OK!”?
Wow!!! I think these are the two of the most powerful phrases that can truly work in avoiding putting up our guard against the ones we are close. Maybe these are the words the true understanding of which will eliminate the phrase self defence mechanism between two people who are close and between those who want to be close.
Simple… ain’t it?